


Peace Begins

by thedevilchicken



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Banter, Developing Relationship, F/M, First Love, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:57:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedevilchicken/pseuds/thedevilchicken
Summary: Rex has developed a smiling habit. Ahsoka doesn't exactly mind, but she's a little confused.





	Peace Begins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WritingCyan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingCyan/gifts).



These days, she knows she loved him before she had a clue what to call it. 

Some people like to think all the clones are exactly the same, but Ahsoka thinks they must not have spent much time around them because the clones are _all_ different. They have different strengths and weaknesses. They have different skills and expertises. They have different experiences and besides, you don't even really have to look very close to see they don't even really _look_ the same, at least not always, or where it matters. 

For example: Rex isn't like the other clones. For starters, by the time she realized what was going on, he'd been hiding a smile every time they'd met for weeks, behind his hand or turning his head or putting on his helmet, the one he'd painted so it didn't look like any of the others. But it wasn't just his armor; she was pretty sure he could've switched with any of the other troopers and she still would've known it was him just by the way he walked or talked or said her name. When she could get him to call her anything but _Commander_ , that was. 

"What are you smiling at, Captain?" she asked him, as she wandered into the armory well past the end of her duty shift, which meant it was well past the end of his, too. He was sitting astride a metal bench that was bolted down to the deck plates, in his black under-armor bodysuit with the armor itself all neatly removed from it; he was servicing one of his blasters like there weren't other clones whose entire job that was, and he'd just looked down at the gun in his hands to hide a smile. 

He'd been doing that a lot lately. He was still totally professional when they were in the field, but out of it it was like she'd missed a joke somewhere along the line. It didn't feel like a joke at her expense, though - she just found it kinda frustrating not to know what it was when she knew they shared so much otherwise. It felt weird him having secrets.

"Smile, Commander?" he replied. 

She straddled the bench in front of him, her knees nudging his, and she reached out one hand to tilt his chin up. He hadn't shaved since the morning and his stubble prickled, and somehow that felt surprising, sort of jarring, like he was more real for it, like a man and not just another clone like it seemed everyone else saw when they looked at him. 

He looked at her. He was still smiling. 

"Smile, Captain," she confirmed, and she gave his smiling lips a tap with her forefinger. 

"Well, if you insist..." he said.

She groaned, making no attempt to hide a smile herself. "Well, I guess I walked right into that one," she said, and she dropped her hand from his face. She prodded him in the middle of his chest instead. "Are you being deliberately insubordinate right now, Trooper?"

He tilted his head at her just slightly. "No, Sir," he replied, looking amused by the whole situation. "The Trooper is apparently just insubordinate by nature, Sir." But then his smile dimmed, or it softened, or it did _something_ at least. 

"The Trooper follows orders, Sir," he said, and if she hadn't known better she might've said his smile looked wistful. He glanced away. He clenched and unclenched his jaw. "The Trooper will do whatever the Commander wants him to."

She frowned. She flattened her hand to his chest, her palm resting over his sternum. Something in her chest felt strange from the way he'd said what he'd said and for a second she wanted to tell him to do the stupidest, most out-there thing she could think of - maybe she could've told him to sing her a song in the canteen in the morning, personally service her lightsabers every night for a month or streak down the corridor when the duty shift was changing, but she didn't really _want_ him to do any of that. So what _did_ she want?

He looked at her sort of expectantly and all she could think of was _kiss me_ , just _kiss me_ , because wasn't that just the stupidest thing ever? It was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard, but something fluttered in her stomach when she thought about it and her cheeks felt hot and her lekku probably blushed, too, and so she snatched her hand away because she could feel Rex's heart beating under it through his bodysuit. She could feel the heat of his skin. She could feel how his pulse was racing though he looked completely calm.

 _I want him to kiss me_ , she thought, feeling the idea of it come in in a rush, making her skin flush even warmer, making the tips of her lekku tingle. She stood up suddenly and almost tripped herself on the bench as she did it. She laughed a bit too loudly at herself. She tacked on a smile to try to make it look like she'd calculated a course really carefully then somehow come out of hyperspace just a bit too close to a sun. She was startled. Maybe that was an understatement.

"Well, it's been a long day," she said. "I should get some sleep. _We_ should get some sleep." She frowned. "Separately, I mean. I'm going to go now. Argh!" 

He stood. He put one foot up on the bench and leaned down against his knee just for a moment, like he meant to say something, like there was something particular he wanted to say to her, but then he stood and came up to attention with a snappy salute. 

"Commander," he said. 

"Captain," she replied. Then she turned and walked away. She felt so stupid and embarrassed she had to remind herself not to run. 

She wanted him to kiss her. She threw herself down on her bunk and buried her face in her pillow and she tried to forget. 

But she wanted him to kiss her. She wasn't sure what to do with that.

\---

Rex was injured three days later. 

It was during a senatorial rescue mission on a moon on the Corellian Run someplace out past Malastare; apparently the smugglers who'd taken up residence there had taken exception to Republic troops landing so close to their base of operations and once they'd picked up Padmé and Representative Binks (Ahsoka had to admit she wasn't surprised when her master showed up to help save the senator, totally against orders), she helped Rex to the med bay. She had his arm around her shoulders and her arm around his waist and his armor jabbed her in the ribs but she shrugged off the other troopers' offers to help - Rex said nothing underneath his helmet, but she wasn't sure if that was because he agreed with her, he didn't agree but was too loyal to say so, or he was just too hurt to speak at all. She knew which option she wanted to believe. 

The doctor and the med droid told her they'd take care of him but she stubbornly refused to take their hint to leave. They took off his helmet and set it aside so she took it instead and sat there perched on a stool at the far side of the room with his blue-painted helmet on her knees until her master called for her, and so she reluctantly pulled herself away. She had his helmet still in her hands as she strode away down the corridor and by the time she realized it was too late to go back so she just ducked into her quarters and left it on her bunk instead. 

The helmet was still there when she got back later that night. It was still there when she got back from her next mission two days later, because Rex was still in the med bay - they didn't have the time to drop him at a real medical facility. She peeked through the glass on her way to the bridge and he was conscious, at least; he smiled at her so she smiled and waved back. He raised his hand and winced. He still wasn't well. 

The helmet was still there when she got herself sent to bed, something about how she'd barely slept in days and how she couldn't stop yawning through Master Windu's briefing that made her master wave her off. 

"And go to your room, not the med bay!" he yelled after her, and she could feel her cheeks get hot.

"Sure, like you'd keep away if it was Padmé," she grumbled under her breath, and she frowned at herself as she went into her quarters. Was it really like it was with her master and the senator? Was it like Master Obi-Wan and Duchess Satine? She sat on the bed with Rex's helmet in her lap. She brushed her thumbs over the blue parts above the visor, pointed like the tips of her montrals. She was worried about him. She missed him. She'd been thinking about him at night, when she tried to sleep. Maybe it _was_ like Master Obi-Wan and Duchess Satine. 

When he got out of the med bay and was sent back to his quarters two days later, she tucked his helmet underneath her arm like she felt nonchalant about it and went over there. She pressed the button for the door chime and he called, "Come in, it's open," like the clones' quarters ever really got locked. 

When she stepped inside, he was sitting up in bed with a datapad in his lap. He was shirtless and the sheet pooled over his lap but fell down at the side and she could see one bare hip, the top of one bare thigh. 

"Oh, Commander," he said. He tucked the sheet up and she pretended she hadn't noticed. "I was expecting someone else." 

She tilted her head. "Are you disappointed?"

He smiled. "I'm pretty sure I didn't say that, Sir," he said, and she crossed the room to hand him his helmet though honestly she felt like she'd've preferred to jettison herself from the nearest airlock. 

"I wondered where this had got to," he said, patting the top of the helmet fondly while it was still in both her hands. "I thought the med droid had sent it to the incinerator and I'd have to get a new one." 

She handed it to him. He shifted over toward the wall and she sat down on the edge of the bed, and when she turned at little to look at him he was still smiling at her. The sheet rode down a little and all she could think was _he's not wearing anything, he's naked under there!_ So she looked away, and a picture caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. Her brows rose. 

"So you like Twi'lek girls, Captain?" she said. 

"She reminds me of someone," he replied. 

"Sweetheart?"

"You might be surprised how little time we get for that sort of thing, Commander," he said. "No, I." He set his datapad down on the table by his bunk, next to his helmet. The sheet rode lower as he did it; Ahsoka swallowed, pointedly not looking at the trail of dark hair that led down over his abdomen and down beneath the hem of the sheet. "No, she was someone else's wife." 

Ahsoka frowned. She didn't press. She stood back up instead. 

"Well, I should go," she said, backing away toward the door. "I just came to give your helmet back. I didn't mean to--"

"Commander." Rex stood up quickly, wincing as he did it, and Ahsoka couldn't help but look at him, wide-eyed. He was naked, completed naked apart from the two bandages around his thigh and upper arm, and he snatched up his datapad to cover himself. It wasn't big enough to provide much cover, though; she could see the base of his penis surrounded by dark hair. She forced herself to look away. 

"Oh, wow, I'm sorry," she said. 

"Commander..." 

"I'm sorry, I should go," she said. "I should really, really go." She fumbled for the button to open the door. She paused just a moment, looking at him standing there, all the contours of his muscles, how his throat worked as he swallowed almost anxiously, the rise and fall of his chest. She'd never really seen a clone naked before. She'd definitely never seen _him_ naked before. 

Then she turned and ran.

\---

He was there on the bridge in the morning and she left after the briefing to avoid him. He was there in the canteen at lunch and she took her tray to go instead of hanging around. He was everywhere she looked. The ship was huge, but somehow it didn't feel big enough for both of them. 

She was embarrassed and she knew that wasn't really great for a Jedi but she really, _really_ didn't feel much like a Jedi around him sometimes. She hated that, and the mixed-up way it all made her feel, and how he was everywhere for the next three days while they flew back to Coruscant for a quick resupply stop then out to Rodia for a humanitarian mission. He was everywhere. She couldn't even get him out of her head in her room at night - the way he smiled at her was in her head, and how his bare skin looked in lamplight, and the idea that he'd do anything she wanted him to. Maybe. If she hadn't been an idiot about it all. She needed to calm down about it. She needed to get it out of her head. 

In the end, she realized she'd had enough of skulking in corridors and avoiding him. She went to his room. She rang the bell. 

"Come in," he called, so she went in, and he stood up. Luckily, he was mostly dressed this time, half in and half out of his bodysuit, but he still frowned as he came to attention. 

"Commander."

"You know, Rex, you can call me by my name when we're not on duty," she said. "I don't mind."

"I think the others might get the wrong idea," he replied. 

"Oh," she said, and frowned. She tucked her hands in behind her back just like he was doing, realized she was doing it and then pressed her palms to her thighs instead. "Well, I came to apologize." 

"Apologize, Sir?"

"For the last time I was here."

"I'd say that was my fault, jumping up like that."

She could feel herself blushing, through her cheeks and right down to the tips of her lekku. "I meant for prying into your personal life," she said. "I didn't mean to. I ask way too many questions sometimes, everyone says so."

Rex took a breath. She saw it as much as she heard it, his chest rising, his shoulders rising, before he let it out again slowly. 

"I'll understand if you think less of me," she said. 

"That's not it." 

"Then I don't get it."

"I wanted to tell you," he said. "But you ran away before I could say it. Not that I blame you for that. I mean, I didn't mean to flash you." He gestured at himself. "I suppose at least I've got my pants on this time, right?" He smiled wryly. He rubbed his short hair with one hand, brought the other up to it, too, and Ahsoka didn't know where to look as that stretched the muscles in his arms and chest and abdomen taut. 

"The thing is, she was married to a clone," he said. "He was a deserted. And I thought he was a coward at first but in the end I think maybe he's one of the bravest men I've ever met. He had a life there with her, and a couple of kids, and he'd've died protecting them, you know? He was happy."

"You're not happy?" 

He stepped closer to her. "I'm happy, Sir," he said. "What I've got's as good as what they had." 

"What's that?"

He paused. He looked at her. "Well, Sir, I'd like to think I've got you."

"You mean like the clone and his wife?"

He nodded. "I think so, Sir," he said. "You can tell me if I'm wrong about that and I swear I'll forget about it." 

"Could you?"

"I'd try."

"I don't think I could." 

"You don't?"

"Not even a little."

"Commander..."

" _Ahsoka_."

"Ahsoka..." He smiled, like he liked how it sounded, or how it felt to say her name. "Ahsoka." He stepped forward again and hesitated just a moment before he rested his hands on her shoulders and squeezed, his thumbs rubbing against her collarbones. He frowned. "We shouldn't do this."

"I know," she said. She lifted her hands, rested them at his waist against his warm, bare skin. "Do you really care?"

"I care."

"So can you keep a secret?"

He smiled. He practically beamed at her. "Of course I can," he said. 

She hoped it wouldn't have to be for long. 

\---

They didn't do much that night, just took a seat on his bunk, shoulder to shoulder, their boots on the floor and their fingers twined together. They talked about the mission and she fell asleep there with him, with her lightsabers next to his helmet on the table by the bed, with his chest pressed to her back and his arm around her waist. She felt happy. 

She woke in the morning with his hand caught between her clothed knees and his stubbly face nuzzling her shoulder. She turned, straddled his hips, caught his hands over his head, and he laughed in surprise that faded into something else entirely. She could feel him starting to harden against her and she thought maybe she was even ready for that, maybe she could've taken off her clothes and maybe his too and maybe he would've put his hands on her. Maybe he would've run his thumb over the white stripe over the slit between her thighs, maybe he would've done it with his tongue instead. She knew a lot of humans had hair there - would he be surprised that she didn't? Would he be disappointed? Would he hate that she was hotter inside than humans were? Would he still want her when he knew she'd never done this before? 

She let go of his hands and sat up; he ran them over her thighs, settled them at her hips. 

"You look nervous," he said. "We don't have to, you know. I don't think there's a rule about it." 

"I know. I want to. It's just..."

"If it helps, I've never done this before," he told her, sounding sort of awkward about it. "Some of the men do, between missions, and I've caught a couple of them at it _on_ missions. There's women out there who really like troopers. But I've never really had the time." 

"Neither have I," she said. "I mean, Jedi aren't meant to form attachments." 

"Are you saying you're attached to me?"

She grinned, running her hands over his bare chest. "Well, sure, against my better judgement."

He chuckled. He moved, and while she didn't use the Force he was stronger than her. He pushed her down to the mattress. She hitched her legs up over his hips. She ran her hands over his biceps.

"Not so long ago, you told me you'd do whatever I wanted," she said. 

"I thought you'd tell me to scrub your lightsabers with my toothbrush." 

She snorted. "You know, A, that's kinda gross," she said. "And B, I wanted you to kiss me."

"You want me to kiss you?"

"Well, I did three weeks ago."

"So you _don't_ want me to kiss you?"

She grinned. "I don't know," she said. "I think maybe I won't be satisfied with a kiss now." 

He kissed her anyway. She didn't regret it for a moment.

\---

These days, she knows she loved him before she had a clue what to call it. 

He's not like the other clones. He's not like anyone she's ever met, when she thinks about it - he doesn't treat her like a Jedi, doesn't treat her like a padawan, doesn't treat her like his commanding officer or like a girl who's too young to know her own mind or like a Togruta who's far from home. He treats her like she's someone he cares about. He treats her like he loves her. 

These days, she knows she loves him. And when she leaves, like she knows she has to even if she doesn't want it, even if it feels like the end of the world, she'll ask him to go with her. She wants to go where they won't need his helmet or her lightsabers. And she never wants to let him go.

These days, she knows she loves him. And she knows exactly what it means when he looks at her and smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from a quote attributed to Mother Teresa: _Peace begins with a smile_.


End file.
